Fixed. The state of something improved. Many people have told me that one of my strengths is that when I notice something in myself that I want to change, I set my mind to improving it. I'm committed to the process of growth because I believe I'm on a journey with God in becoming my truest, healthiest self. But... there's another part of me that balks at the idea of remaining static, that fears feeling like a failure and wasting my life if I'm not living up to my potential (that vague threshold no one can define).
I mourn the America I never knew. I thought I knew her in the ways you know a kindly grandmother whose lap you settle on and hear stories, my head tucked into the crook of her shoulder. My stories were of the God-loving Founding Fathers with funny wigs who wrote our Constitution, feather quills dancing … Continue reading the america I never knew: a meditation
Photo credit Like hundreds of people, I watched the animated movie Soul this past week, and also like many people, by the end of the film, I was in tears. Without giving any spoilers away, I can say that I couldn't think of a better movie to end 2020 on as I contemplate what this … Continue reading final quarantine meditation: my soul purpose
What do Elsa, a Japanese anime character, and the year 2020 have anything to do with each other? We all had so many expectations for 2020. It was supposed to be the year of "vision" (20/20 vision if you're a cheesy person like me). Many of us had dreams of career progression, travelling, pursuing new … Continue reading quarantine meditation four: into the unknown
There is always power when we confess our sins as a community, when we take the road of repentance together as we seek to be restorers of the world around us. O Lord, we come before your throne with broken hearts and weary spirits. We grieve the loved ones we have lost during this pandemic. We … Continue reading a confession for our times
Celé Beauty closed down, and I almost didn't notice. I've made that walk down Heath Ave, past the elementary school, past the Target and onto the 225th Street train stop everyday for almost 5 years, yet it took me four days to see the "CLOSED" signs slapped onto the windows of the beauty store-now-turned-Footlocker. The … Continue reading quarantine meditation two: distancing
We are surrounded by numbers right now. We always have been, but now numbers carry a different kind of weight as I scan through statistical graphs of how many people have contracted COVID-19 around the world. My eyes follow projected curves rising, flattening, and numbers point to the losses we have already experienced and the future we desperately hope for.
I reflect on 5 years in NYC and the silences I'm thankful for.
A motley combination of Buzzfeed personality quizzes, neatly filled-in coloring books, and anecdotes from my childhood Sunday School teacher (who told me I always requested to sit in a chair instead of on the ground with the other kids so I wouldn't get my dress dirty) inform me that I am, in fact, a perfectionist. … Continue reading buried talents
"It was during the war." Lita spoke into the darkness of her room as I sat on the bed next to her, a rare moment of communion amidst the business of both of our lives. My grandmother continued: "In Europe, Jews were being kicked out, and the U.S. was refusing to take any of them … Continue reading the stranger