Fixed. The state of something improved. Many people have told me that one of my strengths is that when I notice something in myself that I want to change, I set my mind to improving it. I'm committed to the process of growth because I believe I'm on a journey with God in becoming my truest, healthiest self. But... there's another part of me that balks at the idea of remaining static, that fears feeling like a failure and wasting my life if I'm not living up to my potential (that vague threshold no one can define).

quarantine meditation 1: number our days

We are surrounded by numbers right now. We always have been, but now numbers carry a different kind of weight as I scan through statistical graphs of how many people have contracted COVID-19 around the world. My eyes follow projected curves rising, flattening, and numbers point to the losses we have already experienced and the future we desperately hope for.