I wrote these words two months ago, but the events of the past weeks in regards to Philando Castile and Charleena Lyles drew me to revisit them today and finally post this... I take a seat at the diversity training the way I usually do: leaned forward and legs crossed. I nod at a few … Continue reading fragile
“A man devoid of hope and conscious of being so has ceased to belong to the future.” Albert Camus Last night I committed an act of resistance: I allowed myself to feel. When the hashtags announcing the death of another person of color cease as a trend and become a weekly inevitability, numbness feels like … Continue reading the sisyphus prayer
In relation to yesterday's post, here and here are the other posts I've written about race-related stress and racial trauma. As an added caveat, I think it's important to remember that the presence of trauma of any kind does not reduce a person's situation to the oppressor/victim dichotomy our polarized society is so fond of.
Frustration sets in as I navigate through my expectations of my white friends and whether those expectations are fair or not. When another race-related event turns up, I find myself waiting for them to reach out to me. I don't need a full conversation or a therapy session with them--just a text asking if I'm okay. I find myself yearning for their acknowledgement that the racism underlying both the daily realities and big, mainstream-worthy headlines affects me in a different way. Then I have to inevitably sort through those thoughts and question if I'm really asking for their recognition of my hurt or for their permission to express it.